Front Page Express

Some were alive when the jet crashed
And a man survived his fourth lightning strike
As the pope reached out to young people
Just before the ‘Frankenfood’ revolution ended
When Time named the year’s most influential Hispanic
Gas prices increased by twenty-two cents
The budget deficit dropped slightly
On word that the red planet might be turning green
Trucks caught fire but not people’s attention
As attacks by militants increased significantly
Following the elimination of blood services restrictions
Indonesia signed a peace pact ending thirty years of violence
The phone message from the doomed jet was exposed as a hoax
Right around the time that Delta sold its feeder carrier to Skywest
Word of a Presidential campaign was retracted
When Japan apologized for its history of imperial ambitions
The airline industry offered brand new seating
To accommodate fat passengers instead of life vests
Thus causing the president to be indicted in Venezuela
So that Wal-Mart could continue with the lowest everyday prices
Yet all of this could have been perfectly avoided
If the side affects of Vioxx had stayed hidden from the public
Which also would have exposed a left-wing Liberal snobbery
To be blamed for everything from drought to flu season